The "I WANT TO DO THAT" Syndrome and a Few Common Mistakes

I go through this crap every time I read, see or hear something new. I call it the I WANT TO DO THAT syndrome. Some people may know it as the "I COULD totally DO THAT" syndrome, (I get that one whenever I look at something written by James Patterson--no matter how unrealistic I'm being) or even the, "OKAY SO I HAVE THIS IDEA--IT'S LIKE A CROSS BETWEEN FAMILY GUY AND BATMAN (Not the circa 1960's Adam West one--but like Nolan--you know...serious) syndrome.

What's worse is the fact that I'm a socially dependent creature. I can't do anything alone.

Friend: So what are you doing?

Me: Uh, just sitting around. Thinking about stuff. Just a normal day over here with Dave--definitely not pooping.

You might ask, what about the blog, Dave? Yeah. I've pitched quite a few new ideas to various friends who are always completely under-enthused about the entire process. An average conversation might go something like this:

Me: So, I have this idea for a blog. It's like a dueling blog, see?

Friend: No.

Me: Oh well, it's like a humor blog, or something like that, where we both talk about whatever, and just refute each other and there's this whole back and forth--

Friend: I meant "no." As in "I don't want to do it."

Sometimes I actually manage to get a friend on board for a project and we intend to work on it, we really do. But we make a continuous series of mistakes from the time we decide to partner up, until the time of our inevitable self-defeat.

Common Mistake Number One:

Friend: So, where are we meeting to work on random project.

Me: I was thinking random coffee shop?

Friend: Sounds great.

No. No it's not great. It's a coffee shop, damn it. What are we thinking? Let's list the ways we're wrong to do this:
1) Coffee shops have people.
2) Coffee shops therefore have girls.
3) Coffee shops normally have coffee.
4) Coffee often leads to a desire to get up and do other things.

Like drinking alcohol, sometimes with girls. Which leads me to our second most common mistake.

Common Mistake Number Two:

Talking about ideas at bars.

Who are we kidding here? I realize that alcoholism and depression are the two leading causes of successful writing, but no one is ever depressed when drinking socially with a buddy. You can try, but inevitably the buzz overtakes you, you begin to lose hold of whatever idea it was you were so desperately clinging to. Maybe it's the girl on the other side of the bar with the drooping v-neck and "hug me" chest. Maybe it's the bartender, giving you completely undeserved extra rounds "on the house" (parenthesis: she wants a big tip.) Maybe you're just sitting next to some really cool dudes and a game is on.

Who knows? The point? You aren't talking about working, how to begin working, or even the idea that set you off in this work related comedy of errors in the first place.

Common Mistake Number Three:

Going into the project with an unclear idea of what you actually want to do.

We all want to do something. Something big, creative. Something with pizazz. Mainly, something that will get you rich.

This is not enough to go on. Outline first, collaborate later.

It's like my father always says, "David, if the buddy system worked, you wouldn't still be fat."

He didn't really say that. But, if the buddy system worked?
I wouldn't still be fat. Hell, I might even be rich.

But probably not.