There is a morbidity that comes with taking a new job. It's not something we often think about because, hey, we just got offered a job, and we love money. But the cold, heartless reality of the majority of job offerings is that they come come as a direct result of someone else no longer having said job.
Say what you will, maybe he got promoted! Maybe she left for a better job somewhere else!
But, someone, somewhere got fired and now you have this job. Or maybe they died.
And more importantly, imaginary person who said "maybe she left for a better job somewhere else!" Do you really want to take the job that someone left for a better job? I want the better job in the first place.
In accordance with this subject I was having lunch with my colleagues (I say, pretending that I'm not an assistant who sits around and waits to see if anyone needs help all day--if I'm not proctoring, of course.)
As is the case with most lunches, we ate food. With our food came conversation, and the slight discomfort one gets when they know that they don't quite yet have gas, but it is most assuredly on the way...
So we had a conversation. It was a pretty good conversation. We talked about girls, until actual girls showed up, and then we talked about sports and students and why Chik-fil-A pissed us off or what we loved about it. (Sundays. Chicken.) The discussion finally turned to various projects and assignments we (sigh) had been giving our (siiiiigh) students. I told them some of my ideas on how to handle things and looked around to see if this would, indeed, be a good way to handle said things.
Everyone seemed impressed, as if they were all simultaneously (generously) thinking, "Hey, this guy might not be an idiot!" (But he probably is, so keep watching him.)
One of the teachers spoke up and said, "Why don't you talk to the Principal about taking his job." Emphasizing the "him" by jabbing her fork in another teacher's direction.
I immediately felt uncomfortable. Fears of gas and eating a little too much aside. That just seemed like a hurtful comment.
He (the teacher in question) looked slightly put out by this entire conversation.
She (the fork pointer) said, "He won't be with us next year, you could just take over for him!"
He (feeling forced by my look of curiosity and her fierce waving of cutlery) went on to tell me about his future Mission and how he'll be raising money to plant a new Church in Vancouver and see if it grows. He used this terminology exactly and I was only slightly bothered by the cascade of questions that rushed into my head.
You can plant a church? Do you add water or does the plumbing help? Do money trees actually exist? Is my mother, in fact, made of money? Will I ever know the meaning of GCB? (And no, I will not google it.)
It turned out he hadn't been put out by her lack of empathy towards his leaving, in fact, he was rather sure I would make a great replacement and the team of people he worked with already know and like me. How perfect.
No he was upset because he would have to find a summer job, and Canadian women and waving cutlery aside, that downright sucks.
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
ESPN First Take takes on the Wrong Debate
There is a running debate on ESPN First Take-- 
Home of Skip Bayless and Skip Bayless' well documented eyes. They are in fact, right there.
--that there aren't enough African American head coaches in the NCAA Division 1 programs. They discussed how you could possibly change this travesty.
This debate is stupid. It is wrong. In so many ways. But mainly, they're simply asking the wrong question. (They being ESPN First Take.)
I have multiple problems but let's start with the beginning. This is a census. This is another, more Wikipedia(d) form. It states that around 12.6% of the total American population is African American. The stat they were throwing around on ESPN was that there were about 19 Head Coaches out of 120 something that were black, even assuming that it was 130 total D1 Head Coaches, we still are seeing a 2% higher ratio in total black coaches vs. total black people. That seems like a step in the right direction.
My second issue with this is that the entire conversation is racist. What do these men want? Do they want the Universities, and NFL teams for that matter, to hire black coaches because they're black? Is that why a black coach wants to get hired? Sure. Anyone wants the D1 Head Coaching contract (slash paycheck) but for that reason? Of course not. Coaches want to get hired because people believe they can win.
This kind of conversation is what sets us (the American People) back. The fact that this is even an issue is the problem. The best person for the job should get hired period. And in a job that is all about money I tend to believe this is the case. Most companies (and that's what University Athletic Programs are) won't hire (or choose not to hire) someone because of his or her race, they'll hire them because they can do the damn job. In this case coaching.
Now, I understand that the big successful programs have had predominantly black players for the past twenty or so years, but we seem to be forgetting a couple of factors that I find to be pretty important:
1) Coaches can coach a lot longer than players can play. It's not like head coaching jobs open up every day, and most of the time schools want to hire proven coaches. It's not a young mans game, period. Black or white young men.
2) Just because there are a lot of black players doesn't mean there are a lot of black coaches. And with a population that is mostly white (Talking America here) it's simply statistically more likely that there are more white coaches than black applying for head coaching jobs. (And most of them get ignored for the Urban Meyer's of the World. Dude won a Championship or two, dude is getting hired.)
This is the face I use when I'm plotting my retirement. And subsequent un-retirement and hiring at Ohio State. Booyah.
Here's the argument ESPN First Take should have had:
Is it harder for prospective black//African American coaches to get hired as Division 1 Head Coaches than it is for white coaches?
Because if it is? If it's found that that's true, then that is a problem. That needs to be fixed and addressed. Racial equality is not about getting more black, Asian or purple coaches hired. It's about making sure that race and racial perceptions play no role whatsoever in the hiring process.
The goal should be (should always have been) that the person who is best for the job gets hired. Period.
The way this debate was handled was backwards and accusatory. It will cause more problems then it will solve. Way to start some High School drama, First Take.
But I guess that's just good television.
--that there aren't enough African American head coaches in the NCAA Division 1 programs. They discussed how you could possibly change this travesty.
This debate is stupid. It is wrong. In so many ways. But mainly, they're simply asking the wrong question. (They being ESPN First Take.)
I have multiple problems but let's start with the beginning. This is a census. This is another, more Wikipedia(d) form. It states that around 12.6% of the total American population is African American. The stat they were throwing around on ESPN was that there were about 19 Head Coaches out of 120 something that were black, even assuming that it was 130 total D1 Head Coaches, we still are seeing a 2% higher ratio in total black coaches vs. total black people. That seems like a step in the right direction.
My second issue with this is that the entire conversation is racist. What do these men want? Do they want the Universities, and NFL teams for that matter, to hire black coaches because they're black? Is that why a black coach wants to get hired? Sure. Anyone wants the D1 Head Coaching contract (slash paycheck) but for that reason? Of course not. Coaches want to get hired because people believe they can win.
This kind of conversation is what sets us (the American People) back. The fact that this is even an issue is the problem. The best person for the job should get hired period. And in a job that is all about money I tend to believe this is the case. Most companies (and that's what University Athletic Programs are) won't hire (or choose not to hire) someone because of his or her race, they'll hire them because they can do the damn job. In this case coaching.
Now, I understand that the big successful programs have had predominantly black players for the past twenty or so years, but we seem to be forgetting a couple of factors that I find to be pretty important:
1) Coaches can coach a lot longer than players can play. It's not like head coaching jobs open up every day, and most of the time schools want to hire proven coaches. It's not a young mans game, period. Black or white young men.
2) Just because there are a lot of black players doesn't mean there are a lot of black coaches. And with a population that is mostly white (Talking America here) it's simply statistically more likely that there are more white coaches than black applying for head coaching jobs. (And most of them get ignored for the Urban Meyer's of the World. Dude won a Championship or two, dude is getting hired.)
Here's the argument ESPN First Take should have had:
Is it harder for prospective black//African American coaches to get hired as Division 1 Head Coaches than it is for white coaches?
Because if it is? If it's found that that's true, then that is a problem. That needs to be fixed and addressed. Racial equality is not about getting more black, Asian or purple coaches hired. It's about making sure that race and racial perceptions play no role whatsoever in the hiring process.
The goal should be (should always have been) that the person who is best for the job gets hired. Period.
The way this debate was handled was backwards and accusatory. It will cause more problems then it will solve. Way to start some High School drama, First Take.
But I guess that's just good television.
Sunday, April 15, 2012
Boring Jobs -- Does the Title go to "Test Proctor?"
I've been thinking a lot about jobs lately. I work as a tutor and test coach at a High School. It's a pretty enjoyable job--and a rewarding one. I get a chance to coach football as well, and I get a real opportunity to make a difference.
But then they make me proctor.
Being a test proctor is a lot like watching paint dry in a room full of televisions that only show baseball (and golf on Sundays.)
To proctor a test in Florida you have to have a certificate to be a teacher. So they can hold the certificate over your head if you do anything wrong.
"Oh, you thought that you would be able to look at your cell phone, crack open a book, or skim through a magazine after you do a walk through? Think again."
In a standard test, that is to say, one that lasts about an hour, it's no problem. You walk around, maybe offer some vague words of encouragement and make sure no one is cheating or taking pictures of their screens so they can sell test questions.
But in the retakes the kids get the entire day to take the test. From 7 am until 2:20 pm I am walking around in a room with maybe 10 kids in it. And I'm not allowed to do anything.
In honor of this torture, my sullen fate during the time that is owned by FCAT, I've begun a list of jobs I consider worse, more boring, or slower than this.
Feel free to add your own to my list.
1) Retail sales employee at a major company on a slow day. You're still expected to "work." So you basically walk around dusting and talking to your "friends." You get yelled at by your managers who are doing the exact same thing, but don't want to get in trouble with their bosses. Also at the average retail establishment you have more bosses that Cal Ripken Jr. has career hits.
2) Video Game Tester. I know it sounds fun, but (apparently) you mainly just end up playing the same level over and over again and looking for "bugs" in said level. Name a game you love. Now go into that game and play the same level over and over again for one hour. See if you still love that game. Even if that level is perfect, it's perfection will eventually get to you. Driving you mad.
3) Front counter at a slow hotel, or overnight shift. Yeah, you're the face of the hotel. You have to stand there and look pretty, or at least professional. Until the invention of the smart phone this was job probably seemed a little bit like the Chinese Water Torture of the Hospitality Industry. (Imagine if you didn't like reading.)
4) In that same vein of thinking, overnight shifts at grocery stores. After the third month you've done all your homework, written an unsuccessful novel and you know every damn thing about every damn celebrity. You haven't seen the sun in the past six weeks and your girlfriend left you and didn't bother to tell you. In the eyes of the World, you no longer exist.
5) Traffic cop (on an empty road.) Think about it. Traffic cop is the punishment that is handed down to the rebel cop by his stern, yet caring, Captain in every cop movie before rebel cop gets a break in his case and solves it off duty. Somehow making everything better rather than getting him fired and sued.
6) Substitute teacher once you've finished the reading material you've brought. This is why most subs bring movies along, God forbid the teacher actually has the class working when s/he is away.
7) Tech support. It's not that it's boring. In fact, I'm sure there's always something to do. But how many times can you run someone through a list of possible problems to find out that the machine isn't plugged in or that they were using the CD player as a cup holder or that the computer's built in fan wasn't keeping the room cool enough before you go just a little bit insane?
I'll come back to this later. Maybe throw a cartoon in. Just some thoughts.
But then they make me proctor.
Being a test proctor is a lot like watching paint dry in a room full of televisions that only show baseball (and golf on Sundays.)
To proctor a test in Florida you have to have a certificate to be a teacher. So they can hold the certificate over your head if you do anything wrong.
"Oh, you thought that you would be able to look at your cell phone, crack open a book, or skim through a magazine after you do a walk through? Think again."
In a standard test, that is to say, one that lasts about an hour, it's no problem. You walk around, maybe offer some vague words of encouragement and make sure no one is cheating or taking pictures of their screens so they can sell test questions.
But in the retakes the kids get the entire day to take the test. From 7 am until 2:20 pm I am walking around in a room with maybe 10 kids in it. And I'm not allowed to do anything.
In honor of this torture, my sullen fate during the time that is owned by FCAT, I've begun a list of jobs I consider worse, more boring, or slower than this.
Feel free to add your own to my list.
1) Retail sales employee at a major company on a slow day. You're still expected to "work." So you basically walk around dusting and talking to your "friends." You get yelled at by your managers who are doing the exact same thing, but don't want to get in trouble with their bosses. Also at the average retail establishment you have more bosses that Cal Ripken Jr. has career hits.
2) Video Game Tester. I know it sounds fun, but (apparently) you mainly just end up playing the same level over and over again and looking for "bugs" in said level. Name a game you love. Now go into that game and play the same level over and over again for one hour. See if you still love that game. Even if that level is perfect, it's perfection will eventually get to you. Driving you mad.
3) Front counter at a slow hotel, or overnight shift. Yeah, you're the face of the hotel. You have to stand there and look pretty, or at least professional. Until the invention of the smart phone this was job probably seemed a little bit like the Chinese Water Torture of the Hospitality Industry. (Imagine if you didn't like reading.)
4) In that same vein of thinking, overnight shifts at grocery stores. After the third month you've done all your homework, written an unsuccessful novel and you know every damn thing about every damn celebrity. You haven't seen the sun in the past six weeks and your girlfriend left you and didn't bother to tell you. In the eyes of the World, you no longer exist.
5) Traffic cop (on an empty road.) Think about it. Traffic cop is the punishment that is handed down to the rebel cop by his stern, yet caring, Captain in every cop movie before rebel cop gets a break in his case and solves it off duty. Somehow making everything better rather than getting him fired and sued.
6) Substitute teacher once you've finished the reading material you've brought. This is why most subs bring movies along, God forbid the teacher actually has the class working when s/he is away.
7) Tech support. It's not that it's boring. In fact, I'm sure there's always something to do. But how many times can you run someone through a list of possible problems to find out that the machine isn't plugged in or that they were using the CD player as a cup holder or that the computer's built in fan wasn't keeping the room cool enough before you go just a little bit insane?
I'll come back to this later. Maybe throw a cartoon in. Just some thoughts.
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