Monday, July 19, 2010

Progress! And Inception. But no thrill kills or spoilers.

I've been relatively productive today. I know the question you're all asking: "Did you wake up before noon!?" No. No I did not. But that hasn't kept me down. Today I was able to finish up my pre-designs (Yeah, finish the pre-designs. Take that World.) for my logo and website layout. Logic Fails should be back up and running within the month. And if it's not, I'm going to straight blame Ryan. Throw him right under the bus, I will.

To follow that up I began applying to jobs. Jobs I will never get because I have no experience in the field. And I'm not exactly sure how one convinces an employer to interview him via an online application that has no spot for a cover letter. Maybe I should insert the phrase "Trust me, I learn quickly and I have a fantastic beard" somewhere into my resume. It looks like most of the (10 available) teaching positions in the area have passed me up, although, one can always hope...so it's looking like it's back to school for me. Only I have no idea what I want to apply for. At all. A master's in...blank. For the purpose of...blank. So that I can one day do...blank. This is why I work on comics and stories.

Segue! I need to figure out how to do "freelance" writing. Basically, I need to figure out what the Hell I'm really good at writing about. And try to sell that to people. I put "people" in italics because, not only am I not sure who these people are, where they are or what they do, but I'm not even sure if it's people or some faceless organization that just is. On top of that, the majority of publications, that I've found, accepting work, have moved to an online model. Which is fine, except they pay by readership, rather than by the letter or page. Dumbing this down a bit, you don't get read, you don't get paid.

This strikes me as being essentially drivel and slowly approaching a complainy/whiney voice, but suffice it to say, I know the difference between talk and walk. I also happen to know that if I don't say something out loud, or write it down, not only will I not do it, I won't even remember I thought it in the first place.

On other notes, I want to see Inception again, as it was a movie that defines the term "badassery," and, if in fact you could mix words that don't exist, "mind !@#$ery." What I'm trying to say is: Inception was mind !@#%ingly badass. I want to see it again, and I want to write a movie like it. So someday, some kid writing a blog about...stuff, will say, dude that movie "Insert Movie Title here" was __________. Yeah. Fill it in. I can't come up with pretend words for everyone.

-D

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Hurricane LeBron, and Why We Should Fear It...

It's 10 o'clock at night on a Thursday and Twitter, Facebook and my phone are aflutter. Not with girls getting ready for ladies night out, or my boys wanting to go out for drinks. No everything is about Hurricane LeBron, and, joy, it's hit Miami.

A super team has been born. And it's name is "el Heat." I think I might be the only one who sees this as a problem. Nothing really good can come of this. On the one hand, the team could do what it's designed to. Which is to say, dominate the next five years like a pretty girl breaks heart. That is to say, consistently and thoroughly. Not great news if you're a Magic fan, or rather, not a Heat fan.

Let's take a second to look at this though. This has been done before. One team getting major free agents. The Celtics did it with the "Big 3," and sure, it got them that first title. But sense then, they've been knocked out once, and lost the finals to Kobe's Lakers. Having more than one so called "super star" on a team, seems to me, to cause more problems than it fixes. And here's the real kicker: The Big Three are all role players. Garnett is a post man, he likes to be in the front court or at mid range. Ray Allen is an outside-in player. He either takes threes, or takes it to the hole off the dribble. And Pierce is a shooter, all around. None of them have ever, or will ever, be included in sentences with Kareem, LeBron, Kobe or Michael, but they'll all probably reach the Hall of Fame.

This Miami team may have burned itself. You put Bosh, LeBron and Wade together, three players who have no definable roles...and you may find that you're in trouble. Athletically, and talent wise, they will be the best team to ever step on an NBA court. Period. But, when that type of talent meets, its often a collision. Who will be the team leader? The lead scorer? Who will be the go to? Who will be willing to back down for the good of the team? There may be too much Ego. And more over, how do you even begin to coach a team like that? Do you take the Phil Jackson route and just write a book "Zen and Basketball Coaching?" Or do you just take your multi-million dollar contract and spend the season in the Keys?

I'd probably do the latter.

I won't lie and say I'm going to stop watching basketball. I barely watch any regular season games anyway. I'm just hoping that teams like this won't make the game less interesting. And here's hoping Miami didn't throw so much money at the "Epic Three" that they forgot you still need bench players to win games.

That's it for now. I'm sure you can catch me whining about love or dreaming about something or other soon.

-D

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Ha. Soccer.

I have two subjects to approach this evening. One, seems to be a common theme, marriage, love etc. The other is soccer. We'll get to it second. Because I hate it more.

I had a discourse today with a nice girl at Borders about marriage. Maybe love, would be a better way to put it. Despite my experiences with love and girlfriends not being "the aces," you could say I'm still hopeful, and still passionate. I still desire to find that special someone. Now I just have more questions about who it is. Or why things happen the way they do. Anyway, she had herself a list, a set of hopes and goals, and ways a man needed to be for her to date him, ways he needed to be to get married. And while I don't consider this wrong, I certainly don't think it's right.

As a man who wants to have a family, wants to be married, I understand, or rather believe, that the most important thing I'll ever do is meet my wife, and have children. Nothing will outshine those moments, not for me. Maybe I write the great American novel. Maybe I invent Velcro that doesn't make that little ripping noise...who knows? I could do anything, and at the end of my life, still think my family was the best and most important thing I'd ever done, or been a part of. So to me, life is about finding that special someone, and holding onto her or him with everything you have. Giving it all you've got until you can't anymore, or until they don't want you to anymore...I think that once you find that person, that "love of the life," that's when you try work things out, figure out how to deal with opposing religions or differing opinions on politics and child rearing. If you aren't compatible, aren't attracted, aren't in love as well as being friends, none of the other stuff matters anyway. I've thought I'd found that person before. I've been wrong before. Love sucks until it doesn't...but I still can't make a list, I can't say that a girl has to be like this or not like that. It would be too hard, and I'd never be happy. It doesn't strike me as a great way to live. But, in the end it is simply a matter of opinion.

Now onto soccer. Facebook is beginning to distress me. At least, the people posting about the World Cup are beginning to distress me. Check that, I'm distressed. First off. All of my friends are American. American. As in USA, Land of the Free, songs, eagles, flags, football, hot dogs and beer. So why I still have friends cheering on teams for countries that the closest affiliation they have to is "my great grandmother lived in Germany for 2 years before her family came over..." is beyond me. I respect heritage, and culture, albeit I'm a mutt so, I'd be rooting for too many teams, but still. For some reason, Americans seem to be happy with "our" World Cup performance.

Yey! We won the group! Then lost to Ghana. How is this acceptable? If our basketball teams or baseball teams did this we'd be up in arms. SportsCenter nuts would be throwing beer bottles and sports casters would still be fielding callers from around the nation to complain about the coaching or the reffing. Instead we all seem to be glassy eyed over the fact we made it as far as we did.

The problem, in my opinion, lies in the fact that we don't actually play soccer in America. I know it happens, but not like it does in any other country. Over here, a kid says he's going to go play ball, he means basketball, or possibly football, if he has enough friends ready to play. There aren't enough kids playing soccer from dawn until dusk on the weekends, not enough kids with dreams to play in the Premier Leagues. And the fact that Premier Leagues are European speaks magnitudes on the "problem" on it's own. There are no new moves, no rising stars. Soccer is a controlled sport with whistling coaches and doting mothers, high cost equipment and sterile fields. It's not a way of life. And until it is, the chances of Americans ever winning the World Cup are next to nill. Which is fine by me, football is my game anyway.

It's literally impossible that I was the first one to think of this. In fact I think I got started off a linked article on someone's facebook about "back alley soccer." That being the case, my point still stands. Until you see soccer games on in people's homes, see grill outs for the next Galaxy game, or whoever is important in the MLS, (Does Orlando even have a team?) I don't think soccer is something we should worry about getting too worked up over.

-D

Monday, July 5, 2010

The 4th Wedding...

Or was it the wedding on the 4th? I'll get back to you once I've done that math. Either way, a congratulations is in order, to my cousin Kyle and his new wife Brittany. Not that they truly need to be congratulated on getting married, it's something people do, and more over, something they really want to do. Maybe his parent's should get the pat on the back? Or the grand parents even? Thank you for getting us to this point? Either way, like all weddings, this one caused a bit of drama, or maybe was just a point where the drama came to a head, but rather than air dirty laundry, I want to talk a little bit about weddings, and maybe marriage (see where me typing takes us?) for a minute.

I love the idea of being married. I want the wife, the kids. I've said this before. I'll say it again. I imagine when I'm married I'll talk about how I love being married. It's just what I want. But I also want to go about it in the right way. Forget the marriage itself. We've all seen the romantic comedies that tell us how marriage should work, how it inevitably doesn't work that way, and how you have to come up with your own solution which is unique to your situation. What I really want to get into first is the wedding.

First off. I won't follow my cousins path. The 4th of July is just not the time. I want to give him a swift kick in the shin. I missed fireworks. Fireworks! For what? The happiest day of his life? Guffaw. But realistically I can see how this will be a problem later for him. When he wants to do the Fourth real big, and wifey wants a high class dinner for the Anniversary. Or maybe he's just the cagiest guy I know. Beach wedding, on the 4th of July...cheapest anniversary ever, every year. "What do you want to do this year baby?" "Hot dogs and beer, on the beach, with some of our closest friends." "We do that every year." "It reminds me of when we got married...and how..." Etc. Etc. Etc. It's either a genius move that will play out very well for him, or a rookie mistake that he'll regret for the rest of his career. I'll have to ask him about it a few years from now.

As for me? I understand that the wedding has very little to do with the groom, and to follow that logic, mine will have very little to do with me. Sure, I might help pick flowers, or what's for dinner at the reception, but realistically I'm there to give her my vows, give her my ring, take hers in return, kiss her, and get to the honeymoon. She's the one whose actually looking forward to the day the most, and even on the off chance that the I'm looking forward to it as much as she is, her mothers and sisters and female friends are going to be way more excited about it than me and mine. I understand, and accept, my role as the "yes man, man." And I'm comfortable with it.

One rule. The reception needs to be a party, dammit. There was no dancing last night. No music. No drinking and raunchy words. Where was the gaggle of single, and prowling, women? Where were the clusters of buzzed men, ready to strike up a conversation, or fail at dancing? What's the point of a wedding reception without all that? Might as well just do the ceremony and a light dinner if that's the way you want it. Hell, my reception might have a dodge-ball game, a couple of pool tables, maybe an actual pool. I haven't decided. But if you're gonna' go ahead and have the most memorable day of your life, you might as well have a bad-ass party to accompany it.

At least the food was pretty good. And it's always a pleasure to see the family, for short periods of time...but for some reason wherever there's a bride and groom, family issues will inevitably follow. I think with my wedding there will be the Bridal Shower, the Bachelor Party, the Family Therapy Session, the Recital, the Ceremony and then the Reception Badassery. Throw in a therapist and try to make it through it.

I'm going to finish up with that. As a single man, I feel comfortable talking about weddings. But as an unmarried man, all I know about marriage is what I don't want to do, and what I dream of doing. I'm wholly unqualified to talk about it more than that.

-D

Friday, July 2, 2010

Technology is Magic

I'm sitting at Borders, about to jump to work, and I think, hey, I'll write a blog. Maybe post a few facebook comments, make a few jokes. You know. The usual.

So I pull out my computer, I plug it in, and hop online. Then I'm forced to re-authenticate my connection roughly 10 times before I realize that the surge protector was turned off. Why my internet won't connect to the bookstore's wireless without being powered is beyond me. The battery is full, this isn't a problem anywhere else. Only here. My desktop computer can't have a microphone plugged in if you want it to turn on. You have to pull them out and plug them back in. My iPhone won't restart when the data cable is in. All three of these things are absolute mysteries. The people who invented the machines have no idea why this happens. How I even figured out the problem was pure luck and Holmsian deduction. I attempted to turn on my computer about 8 dozen times and finally came up with "unplug shit."

This furthers my belief that technology is not made at a factory or mass produced by some company, but rather conjured by the thousands in some Tolkien-esque tower by a grizzly old wizard who gets his kicks by screwing with people. Why else would restarting a computer fix a problem? Or pulling out the battery on a cell phone. Why else would Windows use a registry? But it goes beyond that. Look at cars, every car has it's own kink, it's own hum and rhythm that only the driver really knows. And can't explain. Only Biff could start his car. This is a theme that's been going on for generations, and I can only imagine our plight will grow grimmer by the year as tinier more advanced products come out. Try explaining how a wireless router works, or what the Android system is, to someone who doesn't really understand how a blender does it's job, and you'll get an idea of where I'm going with this.

Because technology, electronic, or let's go further and say anything mechanical, is not real. Not in the sense that we know. You can't explain technology. I can talk to you all day about how a knife works, or a spoon. What it's used for and how it's made. Hell, I could probably sound intelligent for about 20 minutes if we talked about television sets. But that only explains the picture. Ask me how a satellite signal works, or an antenna and radio waves, and then sit back and watch me stare at you blankly until you leave due to the uncomfortable silence. The only people who know how that stuff actually works either invented it, or read the wikipedia article on it and actually believes that information to be accurate, or even true. Technology is becoming as much a religion as anything else. It's our generations Evolution. Sure. We know it's there. We know it exists. We just don't know how, certainly not why.

To dance away from that gripe for a bit... I've been toying around with a few different pieces as of late, I even sent in a short story to get published, and I'm pretty psyched about all of it. Nick is making me work on my comic (graphic novel not the webcomic, Ryan has me on that...) and I'm finally getting started on some of my "solo" projects. The first order of business, so far, has been getting my sleep schedule in some kind of order...(I'm failing miserably by the way. Sure, I'm not watching TV or playing games, but I'm reading and drawing and still up late, I just wake up earlier and I'm tired all day now...)

The second order was attempting to clean my room up. I've found that my entire life is in that room, in one for another. Also, what other people have assumed my life to be. I love my mother, and my grand mother, and I love receiving gifts, I do. But I've found over four different chocolate tins, a dozen or so unopened VHS tapes, and clothes that not only have never been worn, but never will be. So last night was the first night in what I can only imagine to be a string of nights spent packing up stuff I actually like, and deciding whether or not to throw away or donate the rest. Hopefully I'll be a little more organized and prepared to do...something, soon.

And this might be a completely self serving point that is better suited to a facebook post or on my decidedly inactive twitter, but I finally have interviews. And the school system is looking more promising by the day. So while, I may not want to be a teacher my whole life, it's looking pretty awesome right now. So, wish me luck, and I'll do the same for you.

-D