My Borders shut down recently. I know, let the depression sink in for a moment. if you aren't sad it's because you hate me and want to see me suffer. As you may have guessed, I've spent many of the past few days searching endlessly for a new place from which to read, drink coffee and avoid writing, while drinking coffee.
My search was essentially a huge failure. I got into my car feeling very gung-ho, and got as far as about two blocks away before I came upon a Starbucks and gave up immediately. I mean, they do have coffee, tables and internet. That's like my three basic needs right there. I can deal without having books to browse--or at least I can bring my own.
Imagine my surprise upon entering said Starbucks discovering that they are planning a remodel (were, it started today.) So even the place I didn't want to go to in the first place is shutting down. I'd call it bum luck but I see the common factor--me. I was about to embark on another epic quest of block-traveling import when my mother suggested "Books-A-Million" to me. Yeah, she said, it's right down the street.
I don't know if you know this but--I grew up in Books-A-Million. I used to ask to go there everyday after school. I was very serious about this store. It had Joe Muggs coffee (Frozen cappuccino? Yes, please.) and a copious amount of comics not to mention an entire section of Star Wars books which were kind of my thing.
Then, in what would become the story of my life, the store shut down. That is to say, became Full Sail University. Shortly after that I (my mother) discovered Borders and life was good again, or so I thought. I--in my beautiful ignorance--did not realize that companies aren't necessarily permanent, no matter how much love and attention you give them.
Not until my reemergence into the beautiful world that is Books-A-Million did I realize what I had been missing. First off--the frozen cappuccino? It tastes like childhood. They have a humor section that is easily four bookcases long and a comic/sci-fi section that stretches into eternity, into the beautiful light of fake knowledge and imaginary galactic lore. I have found my happy place, and it is a terrifyingly corporate bookstore. My inner hipster is crying, but as I still have pants that go down to my very non-flip flop shoes, I figure I can get away with it.
It even has a "last chance" section with books costing 1, 2 and 3 dollars. Where you can find such killer titles as "Elegy Beach." A book that is said to be "hauntingly elegiac." It doesn't exactly make me want to read it--but if that's the kind of review I can be expecting, you can be expecting me, right here, every other day.
Plus the store is pretty much devoid of people my age--maybe I'll get some work done.
Monday, February 28, 2011
Monday, February 21, 2011
Daytona and Stuff
I went to Daytona this weekend, and before you ask, I did not attend the Daytona 500. To be fair however, being in Daytona during the race is very similar to actually being there, as you can hear absolutely everything that goes on at the speedway from anywhere in the near vicinity (for example, neighboring countries.)
I went to visit a few friends to whom the word "NASCAR" means "loud noises" and "insufferable traffic." Although, giving it the moniker of "insufferable" is being incredibly generous. To put it mildly, it was difficult going anywhere. So, while I'd love to regal you with awesome beach tales and drunk humor, we basically played video games all weekend.
As you can see, the scary traffic monster is keeping me from a building, some would assume it's a house. Don't, it's a restaurant. The traffic didn't care about my hunger. It was all "Walk, punk."
If I was the proud owner of a helicopter, I imagine I could have played "Spot the Road." The game where the question "What do we do with the Helicopter today?" is answered. Islands? Mountain ski resorts? Ridiculously hot women? Nah, spot the road in Daytona, bitches.
I suppose I could finish this post by lamenting the incredible loss of money that occurred this weekend (it was only 50 bucks all told, but, guys, that's like 25% of my current net worth) but instead, I'll say this: If you want to do anything like blogging professionally, you will probably have to use Social Networking tools, like Twitter or Friendster. I left my Twitter account alone for all of two days and it very obviously felt horribly abused.
I realize "Dave (me)" looks really thin in this picture. Don't hate my self-image.
I'm going to do my best to get into a multiple post a week rhythm, but working on the comic website is slowly, possibly irrevocably, driving me insane. And every time I'm in desperate need of something comically newsworthy to talk about in a post, some tragedy inevitably happens that makes throwing anything other than personal humorous stories out quite difficult.
I'll sign off tonight with best wishes, thoughts and prayers, for everyone in New Zealand and Libya at the moment, as said people recover from (or continue to go through) their separate tragedies/issues.
I went to visit a few friends to whom the word "NASCAR" means "loud noises" and "insufferable traffic." Although, giving it the moniker of "insufferable" is being incredibly generous. To put it mildly, it was difficult going anywhere. So, while I'd love to regal you with awesome beach tales and drunk humor, we basically played video games all weekend.
If I was the proud owner of a helicopter, I imagine I could have played "Spot the Road." The game where the question "What do we do with the Helicopter today?" is answered. Islands? Mountain ski resorts? Ridiculously hot women? Nah, spot the road in Daytona, bitches.
I suppose I could finish this post by lamenting the incredible loss of money that occurred this weekend (it was only 50 bucks all told, but, guys, that's like 25% of my current net worth) but instead, I'll say this: If you want to do anything like blogging professionally, you will probably have to use Social Networking tools, like Twitter or Friendster. I left my Twitter account alone for all of two days and it very obviously felt horribly abused.
I'm going to do my best to get into a multiple post a week rhythm, but working on the comic website is slowly, possibly irrevocably, driving me insane. And every time I'm in desperate need of something comically newsworthy to talk about in a post, some tragedy inevitably happens that makes throwing anything other than personal humorous stories out quite difficult.
I'll sign off tonight with best wishes, thoughts and prayers, for everyone in New Zealand and Libya at the moment, as said people recover from (or continue to go through) their separate tragedies/issues.
Monday, February 14, 2011
Live Well
I'll get to my 'regularly scheduled' content in a moment--or rather I'll start writing it soon, but I wanted to get something said first.
Yesterday, a friend of mine, Matt Moran, passed on. He was a friend (a great friend) to many. He was young and no one expected his death, no one really believes it. It's unsurprising how very--effected--we all are by this tragedy.
As it always seems to be, he was one of the good ones. And I don't mean that in some cliche 'only the good die young' kind of way. He was truly good. He made life better for those around him, he made it fun. He lived with passion and if nothing else, we should take away from his life--not his death--that we can follow his example--we can live well.
I say this all the time in some vain effort to convince myself to do better that 'life is for living.' Matt knew that. Sometimes I think that I don't. If you have dreams, goals, passions--you need to pursue them. This concept of 'Tomorrow' or 'the Future' ... next year, next month, whatever it is...it's a not a guarantee. It won't always be there. Life can be as fleeting as it can be beautiful, and at some point you have to pursue it--reach out and grab it, as it were.
Matt loved the water, and the woods...Nature really. But I remember a conversation with him where he talked non stop about the lake and how much he loved being on it. The beach, the lake you name it--he loved the water. He said that to me a lot. The reason I bring this up? Matt loved the water--and he spent a lot of time on the water. He was always there.
Find what you love and do it. Learn from Matt--have something you love and have it be said when your time comes--that you did that--what you loved.
I hate to quote Serendipity here--but it is one of my favorite movies, but there is a quote (a real quote) in it that makes sense in times like these:
"You know the Greeks didn't write obituaries. They only asked one question after a man died: 'Did he have passion?' "
Onto happier and brighter things.
And for Matt--thanks for everything, rest in peace.
Yesterday, a friend of mine, Matt Moran, passed on. He was a friend (a great friend) to many. He was young and no one expected his death, no one really believes it. It's unsurprising how very--effected--we all are by this tragedy.
As it always seems to be, he was one of the good ones. And I don't mean that in some cliche 'only the good die young' kind of way. He was truly good. He made life better for those around him, he made it fun. He lived with passion and if nothing else, we should take away from his life--not his death--that we can follow his example--we can live well.
I say this all the time in some vain effort to convince myself to do better that 'life is for living.' Matt knew that. Sometimes I think that I don't. If you have dreams, goals, passions--you need to pursue them. This concept of 'Tomorrow' or 'the Future' ... next year, next month, whatever it is...it's a not a guarantee. It won't always be there. Life can be as fleeting as it can be beautiful, and at some point you have to pursue it--reach out and grab it, as it were.
Matt loved the water, and the woods...Nature really. But I remember a conversation with him where he talked non stop about the lake and how much he loved being on it. The beach, the lake you name it--he loved the water. He said that to me a lot. The reason I bring this up? Matt loved the water--and he spent a lot of time on the water. He was always there.
Find what you love and do it. Learn from Matt--have something you love and have it be said when your time comes--that you did that--what you loved.
I hate to quote Serendipity here--but it is one of my favorite movies, but there is a quote (a real quote) in it that makes sense in times like these:
"You know the Greeks didn't write obituaries. They only asked one question after a man died: 'Did he have passion?' "
Onto happier and brighter things.
And for Matt--thanks for everything, rest in peace.
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Sleep: It's for the weak.
I have long had the problem of not getting to sleep on time. In fact, that sound's reasonable: "not getting to sleep on time." It's like I'm lying to you and saying I got to sleep about an hour late and that's what ruined my day. I don't get to sleep at night. That's the problem.
Around four or five AM every night I'll finally get my proverbial shit together and get in bed. The problem with beds being that they are often near televisions. I have learned, over the course of the past few years, that late night television scheduling doesn't always suck. After 3 AM you can still watch Family Guy, Metalacolypse and reruns of Numb3rs. Eventually, I talk myself into turning off the television, normally around the time I hear my sister leaving for school--or depending on where I'm sleeping, friends getting ready for work or class. This is about the part of the night (morning) where the self-loathing really begins to sink in.
This particular morning was not haunted by siblings, friends or roommates. Rather, it was grandparents. I would (despite the inherit danger of doing so) assume. This weekend was the neighborhood garage sale, and only grandparents show up to garage sales at 6:30 AM. My dogs found this process very interesting, so interesting in fact, that they felt everyone else should know about it--now.
There were moments where I (mistakenly) thought I could find a quiet gap of silence to slip into and fall asleep. I guess the lag between yard sales for the strolling customers was just large enough to taunt me with moments of quiet. In one such gap work called. I substitute teach a few days a week and the system requires you to type in a series of numbers indicating whether or not you are willing and able to work. Hitting "two" means you aren't available.
I hit "two."
My house phone is also attached to the subbing system--in case I legitimately miss a call, I can still pick up the hours. I do not have a house phone in my room--for to hit "two" with.
My mother, however, does. She hit "one."
At this point sleep is just another day dream, something that exists for other people--those people. Underprivileged people such as I do not deserve to sleep.
This is when I begin repeating to myself, over and over, my mantra.
Sleep is for the weak.
I am not weak.
Just very, very tired.
Around four or five AM every night I'll finally get my proverbial shit together and get in bed. The problem with beds being that they are often near televisions. I have learned, over the course of the past few years, that late night television scheduling doesn't always suck. After 3 AM you can still watch Family Guy, Metalacolypse and reruns of Numb3rs. Eventually, I talk myself into turning off the television, normally around the time I hear my sister leaving for school--or depending on where I'm sleeping, friends getting ready for work or class. This is about the part of the night (morning) where the self-loathing really begins to sink in.
This particular morning was not haunted by siblings, friends or roommates. Rather, it was grandparents. I would (despite the inherit danger of doing so) assume. This weekend was the neighborhood garage sale, and only grandparents show up to garage sales at 6:30 AM. My dogs found this process very interesting, so interesting in fact, that they felt everyone else should know about it--now.
There were moments where I (mistakenly) thought I could find a quiet gap of silence to slip into and fall asleep. I guess the lag between yard sales for the strolling customers was just large enough to taunt me with moments of quiet. In one such gap work called. I substitute teach a few days a week and the system requires you to type in a series of numbers indicating whether or not you are willing and able to work. Hitting "two" means you aren't available.
I hit "two."
My house phone is also attached to the subbing system--in case I legitimately miss a call, I can still pick up the hours. I do not have a house phone in my room--for to hit "two" with.
My mother, however, does. She hit "one."
At this point sleep is just another day dream, something that exists for other people--those people. Underprivileged people such as I do not deserve to sleep.
This is when I begin repeating to myself, over and over, my mantra.
Sleep is for the weak.
I am not weak.
Just very, very tired.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
iConfession (and no, that's not the real name of the app.)
I've recently come across an app for the iPhone that gave my brain a mild case of absenteeism (much like when I listen to anything by the King's of Leon.)
That's right boys and girls and Mom and Dad, I found (I won't lie to you, someone else found and told me about) Confession, (read up) a smart phone program that allows Catholics to "to examine their consciences and confess to their sins."
Before I went into a rant or let any (attempted) hilarity ensue, I got into contact with a Catholic friend of mine (read his blog here) and had what we'll call a 'micro conversation' on the subject, over facebook, in our spare time (his spare time, I have so much of it that calling it spare is dangerously close to hyperbole,) so it was pretty serious stuff.
In short, he talked about how happy he was that the Church was evolving, or at least attempting to evolve, with new media and it's people. However, the app is not actually intended to supplant or replace the act of Confession anyway--it's really a precursor. The iPhone is the coach, and the app is the pregame speech (Mass then becomes the game, Confession the playoffs and Heaven the Super Bowl, so don't let the metaphor take you too far.)
But I got to thinking, if we (loosely: technology companies) are going so far as to take Confession digital, what can we (see above) do next?
iVoting
The last election (for President) had the highest turnout in modern history. That's right. Guess the percentage of the electorate that showed up, votes in mind? 64 percent. That means that over a third of voting-able Americans didn't bother to show up for an event that determines who our leader for the next four years is.
If only 64% of a company's employees decided to show up for work for a week, that company would be 36% smaller. 64% is like a local news rain forecast, it might rain, but then again...
Direct Purchases
I wish I could say this wasn't already happening. But it is. There are commercials about it (in the ads, the guy has a spot to actually swipe the card.)
No one sees the insane amount of potential credit card fraud here? Really?
The iTeacher
An app specifically designed to replace the teachers we already don't have enough of, but won't hire more.
iDoctor
We already have WebMD, the biggest needle in a good doctors already pin-cushioned ass, why not just put the doctor on the phone? Maybe the 10:15 appointment time will actually happen at 10:15 (I'd settle for 10:45.)
iMarriage
Online dating sites (apparently) can be thanked for 1 in 5 "successful marriages" (and 9 in 10 commercials.) We can mail order our brides. Out of state student's marry for instate tuition fees. Forget the Green Card issue. Phone companies are zealously trying to convince us we can live a fulfilling family life on the road. Why not just get over the hump and get the whole thing on digital style.
Citizenship issues can be the next step, national borders? Yeah, there's an app for that.
Maybe I sound a little bit technophobic here, but trust me, when there's an iDMV app, I'll be the first person in line. Digital line though it may be.
That's right boys and girls and Mom and Dad, I found (I won't lie to you, someone else found and told me about) Confession, (read up) a smart phone program that allows Catholics to "to examine their consciences and confess to their sins."
Before I went into a rant or let any (attempted) hilarity ensue, I got into contact with a Catholic friend of mine (read his blog here) and had what we'll call a 'micro conversation' on the subject, over facebook, in our spare time (his spare time, I have so much of it that calling it spare is dangerously close to hyperbole,) so it was pretty serious stuff.
In short, he talked about how happy he was that the Church was evolving, or at least attempting to evolve, with new media and it's people. However, the app is not actually intended to supplant or replace the act of Confession anyway--it's really a precursor. The iPhone is the coach, and the app is the pregame speech (Mass then becomes the game, Confession the playoffs and Heaven the Super Bowl, so don't let the metaphor take you too far.)
But I got to thinking, if we (loosely: technology companies) are going so far as to take Confession digital, what can we (see above) do next?
iVoting
The last election (for President) had the highest turnout in modern history. That's right. Guess the percentage of the electorate that showed up, votes in mind? 64 percent. That means that over a third of voting-able Americans didn't bother to show up for an event that determines who our leader for the next four years is.
If only 64% of a company's employees decided to show up for work for a week, that company would be 36% smaller. 64% is like a local news rain forecast, it might rain, but then again...
Direct Purchases
I wish I could say this wasn't already happening. But it is. There are commercials about it (in the ads, the guy has a spot to actually swipe the card.)
No one sees the insane amount of potential credit card fraud here? Really?
The iTeacher
An app specifically designed to replace the teachers we already don't have enough of, but won't hire more.
iDoctor
We already have WebMD, the biggest needle in a good doctors already pin-cushioned ass, why not just put the doctor on the phone? Maybe the 10:15 appointment time will actually happen at 10:15 (I'd settle for 10:45.)
iMarriage
Online dating sites (apparently) can be thanked for 1 in 5 "successful marriages" (and 9 in 10 commercials.) We can mail order our brides. Out of state student's marry for instate tuition fees. Forget the Green Card issue. Phone companies are zealously trying to convince us we can live a fulfilling family life on the road. Why not just get over the hump and get the whole thing on digital style.
Citizenship issues can be the next step, national borders? Yeah, there's an app for that.
Maybe I sound a little bit technophobic here, but trust me, when there's an iDMV app, I'll be the first person in line. Digital line though it may be.
Monday, February 7, 2011
Here's Hoping For Super Bowl XLVI
Ah, the Super Bowl. It's like Christmas for all the forty-something beer lovers out there. It's where "Funniest Commercials" get's it's American audience. It's the reason football is played and watched. It's a pretty big deal. But it is not what it should be.
THE SUPER BOWL SHOULD BE FUN
This is the Championship, people. The Big Kahuna. This is every boy's dream (and a few men's too.) And yet, there is so much pressure going into the damn game that even the fans feel nervous. This is ridiculous. It may be the 'World's Biggest Stage' but on that stage a game is being played.
Super Bowl - the posturing - the propaganda + more football = win.
The math may be off, but this is a good equation.
DO NOT SPEND THE THIRTY MINUTES LEADING UP TO GAME-TIME READING ME THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE
I love my Country, I do. I promise. I have friends and family that have served and are serving in the Military. I am proud of them and all our soldiers. I stand up for the Pledge of Allegiance and take my hat off for the National Anthem. But let's not pretend that the Super Bowl is patriotic--at least not for the NFL. It's business, big business at that.
More over, after sitting through what seemed like a History Channel special that I ignored once in fourth grade, you make us watch (and listen, sadly) to Christina Aguilera butcher the nation Anthem. Nothing against her forgetting the words, how often do you sing it? Lot's of pressure, I get that, she championed up and kept going. It's the fact that she (and every other performer of the Anthem ever) feels the need to add in a series of yodels and tempo changes that server little to no purpose other than pissing us (mainly me) off.
I get that ESPN has pretty much said everything you can about the two teams twice, and has had more ex-NFL players make predictions on the game than VH1 has had washed up comedians (a job I wish I had) talk about various decades...but, I'm sure we can come up with something that's not so faux patriotic. Patriotism shouldn't be forced, and it certainly shouldn't be advertised for.
THE HALF TIME SHOW SHOULD HAVE GOOD AND RELEVANT ACTS
I like the Black Eyed Peas. They make fun music, I won't call it good, but fun. Fun is a good word for it. However, live concerts are not their strong suit. On top of that, I'm not quite sure why they were dressed up like Gay Robots (which I capitalized only in an ode to Grandma's Boy.
It's like when the Super Bowl had the Rolling Stones. I love the Rolling Stones (who above the age of 20 doesn't?) but, most of the younger people watching the Super Bowl had only ever heard of them via their parents or a magazine that doesn't talk about them anymore.
COMMERCIALS SHOULD BE MORE CAREFULLY CHOSEN
Network television is business beyond business. I get that. But, wow. Most people don't understand Groupons wacky voice and 'out-there' advertising style, but even I was a little shocked with the ads they went with.
Doritos hasn't produced a commercial that made me laugh in about three years--this one just freaked me out.
Facebook stalking can now be done from the car--so that should make all the pretty people feel safe.
Bud Light doesn't need ten slots every year, but at least they're funny--maybe the other companies should hire the advertising agency that does their work? Anyone? No?
I have more to say on this subject but I've already run longer than I wanted to. I'll talk a little about the game tomorrow...or maybe I won't.
It was boring. Aaron Rodgers played well. There was no give and take. The Packers dominated for awhile, then the Steelers dominated for awhile, then the Packers picked back up and then it was over.
At one point, towards the end, I thought it might get interesting, but then it didn't.
The End. Congratulations Packers. Sorry Steelers and I hope everyone who got injured in the game heals up fast so they can enjoy their ridiculous pay checks.
You still aren't the Bucs.
THE SUPER BOWL SHOULD BE FUN
This is the Championship, people. The Big Kahuna. This is every boy's dream (and a few men's too.) And yet, there is so much pressure going into the damn game that even the fans feel nervous. This is ridiculous. It may be the 'World's Biggest Stage' but on that stage a game is being played.
Super Bowl - the posturing - the propaganda + more football = win.
The math may be off, but this is a good equation.
DO NOT SPEND THE THIRTY MINUTES LEADING UP TO GAME-TIME READING ME THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE
I love my Country, I do. I promise. I have friends and family that have served and are serving in the Military. I am proud of them and all our soldiers. I stand up for the Pledge of Allegiance and take my hat off for the National Anthem. But let's not pretend that the Super Bowl is patriotic--at least not for the NFL. It's business, big business at that.
More over, after sitting through what seemed like a History Channel special that I ignored once in fourth grade, you make us watch (and listen, sadly) to Christina Aguilera butcher the nation Anthem. Nothing against her forgetting the words, how often do you sing it? Lot's of pressure, I get that, she championed up and kept going. It's the fact that she (and every other performer of the Anthem ever) feels the need to add in a series of yodels and tempo changes that server little to no purpose other than pissing us (mainly me) off.
I get that ESPN has pretty much said everything you can about the two teams twice, and has had more ex-NFL players make predictions on the game than VH1 has had washed up comedians (a job I wish I had) talk about various decades...but, I'm sure we can come up with something that's not so faux patriotic. Patriotism shouldn't be forced, and it certainly shouldn't be advertised for.
THE HALF TIME SHOW SHOULD HAVE GOOD AND RELEVANT ACTS
I like the Black Eyed Peas. They make fun music, I won't call it good, but fun. Fun is a good word for it. However, live concerts are not their strong suit. On top of that, I'm not quite sure why they were dressed up like Gay Robots (which I capitalized only in an ode to Grandma's Boy.
It's like when the Super Bowl had the Rolling Stones. I love the Rolling Stones (who above the age of 20 doesn't?) but, most of the younger people watching the Super Bowl had only ever heard of them via their parents or a magazine that doesn't talk about them anymore.
COMMERCIALS SHOULD BE MORE CAREFULLY CHOSEN
Network television is business beyond business. I get that. But, wow. Most people don't understand Groupons wacky voice and 'out-there' advertising style, but even I was a little shocked with the ads they went with.
Doritos hasn't produced a commercial that made me laugh in about three years--this one just freaked me out.
Facebook stalking can now be done from the car--so that should make all the pretty people feel safe.
Bud Light doesn't need ten slots every year, but at least they're funny--maybe the other companies should hire the advertising agency that does their work? Anyone? No?
I have more to say on this subject but I've already run longer than I wanted to. I'll talk a little about the game tomorrow...or maybe I won't.
It was boring. Aaron Rodgers played well. There was no give and take. The Packers dominated for awhile, then the Steelers dominated for awhile, then the Packers picked back up and then it was over.
At one point, towards the end, I thought it might get interesting, but then it didn't.
The End. Congratulations Packers. Sorry Steelers and I hope everyone who got injured in the game heals up fast so they can enjoy their ridiculous pay checks.
You still aren't the Bucs.
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