Here's Hoping For Super Bowl XLVI

Ah, the Super Bowl. It's like Christmas for all the forty-something beer lovers out there. It's where "Funniest Commercials" get's it's American audience. It's the reason football is played and watched. It's a pretty big deal. But it is not what it should be.

THE SUPER BOWL SHOULD BE FUN
This is the Championship, people. The Big Kahuna. This is every boy's dream (and a few men's too.) And yet, there is so much pressure going into the damn game that even the fans feel nervous. This is ridiculous. It may be the 'World's Biggest Stage' but on that stage a game is being played.

Super Bowl - the posturing - the propaganda + more football = win.
The math may be off, but this is a good equation.

DO NOT SPEND THE THIRTY MINUTES LEADING UP TO GAME-TIME READING ME THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE
I love my Country, I do. I promise. I have friends and family that have served and are serving in the Military. I am proud of them and all our soldiers. I stand up for the Pledge of Allegiance and take my hat off for the National Anthem. But let's not pretend that the Super Bowl is patriotic--at least not for the NFL. It's business, big business at that.

More over, after sitting through what seemed like a History Channel special that I ignored once in fourth grade, you make us watch (and listen, sadly) to Christina Aguilera butcher the nation Anthem. Nothing against her forgetting the words, how often do you sing it? Lot's of pressure, I get that, she championed up and kept going. It's the fact that she (and every other performer of the Anthem ever) feels the need to add in a series of yodels and tempo changes that server little to no purpose other than pissing us (mainly me) off.

I get that ESPN has pretty much said everything you can about the two teams twice, and has had more ex-NFL players make predictions on the game than VH1 has had washed up comedians (a job I wish I had) talk about various decades...but, I'm sure we can come up with something that's not so faux patriotic. Patriotism shouldn't be forced, and it certainly shouldn't be advertised for.

THE HALF TIME SHOW SHOULD HAVE GOOD AND RELEVANT ACTS
I like the Black Eyed Peas. They make fun music, I won't call it good, but fun. Fun is a good word for it. However, live concerts are not their strong suit. On top of that, I'm not quite sure why they were dressed up like Gay Robots (which I capitalized only in an ode to Grandma's Boy.

It's like when the Super Bowl had the Rolling Stones. I love the Rolling Stones (who above the age of 20 doesn't?) but, most of the younger people watching the Super Bowl had only ever heard of them via their parents or a magazine that doesn't talk about them anymore.

COMMERCIALS SHOULD BE MORE CAREFULLY CHOSEN
Network television is business beyond business. I get that. But, wow. Most people don't understand Groupons wacky voice and 'out-there' advertising style, but even I was a little shocked with the ads they went with.

Doritos hasn't produced a commercial that made me laugh in about three years--this one just freaked me out.

Facebook stalking can now be done from the car--so that should make all the pretty people feel safe.

Bud Light doesn't need ten slots every year, but at least they're funny--maybe the other companies should hire the advertising agency that does their work? Anyone? No?

I have more to say on this subject but I've already run longer than I wanted to. I'll talk a little about the game tomorrow...or maybe I won't.

It was boring. Aaron Rodgers played well. There was no give and take. The Packers dominated for awhile, then the Steelers dominated for awhile, then the Packers picked back up and then it was over.

At one point, towards the end, I thought it might get interesting, but then it didn't.

The End. Congratulations Packers. Sorry Steelers and I hope everyone who got injured in the game heals up fast so they can enjoy their ridiculous pay checks.

You still aren't the Bucs.