Let's Hop Ignorances!

Our most recent debate has done little to stop the common European (in response to anything American) slogan "Damn Americans, ignorant pigs." from being shouted on high, from all the lofty places throughout their old-timey nations. So what if you have the Eiffel Tower? Big Ben? Notre Dame? We have book burnings (Rev. Jones has [sense my last article] downgraded it the protest to a 'no' then right back up into the murky waters of 'maybe.') and conservative stance on gay rights! So conservative in fact that we (I'm calling the Government "we" for the sake of this article) go right past "hate monger" and into "awkwardly Republican." In America, we won't even let our gays (yes, I'm claiming you, gays, as Americans. Take that.) die for us.

The U.S. Armed Forces have operated under the "Don't ask, don't tell." motif for the past 10 years.(Don't quote the 10 years thing. It just sounds good. I imagine the policy has been around as long as the Military. Kind of goes with the territory of "not telling.") In other words, if you're a homosexual, and you want to be a soldier...don't be honest about being gay, until your done being honest about your love of country. As far as the military is concerned, the two ideals can't coincide. If you feel the need to tell the world, or your fellow serviceman, you're going to get whatever the military calls "getting fired." (Discharged? Ewww. You can't see it, but I'm scrunching up my nose.)

The Log Cabin Republicans, a 19,000 member strong group filed a lawsuit to stop the ban back in 2004, and now the Courts are coming over to their side. U.S. District Judge Virginia Phillips has ruled that the bans were unconstitutional and have a "direct and deleterious" effect on the military. I'm not so sure the Military as a group cares either way, few Americans that aren't actually gay get into the debate. We've very much become a "yeah, what's it to me?" kind of people. Most of the people I know that actually aren't homosexual, but are pro-gay rights go about it in a very Family Guy kind of way, "They have the right to be miserable too." Obviously gay men and women in life and death situations need to handle themselves with restraint that a straight serviceman would rarely have to deal with, especially in combat/intense situations. I'm sure, if I were a soldier, and my squad-mate was gay, him falling in love with me mid-mission could cause some grief. However, the frequency of this can't be that high, if it has, in fact, happened. However, the rate of "firings" is quite frequent. So much so it has it's very own stat. The Log Cabin Republicans claim that over 13,000 Armed Forces members have lost their jobs to the ban on homosexuality.

That's enough people to man over 100 U.S.S Sea Tiger wannabes. (The Sea Tiger was the submarine in the film Operation Petticoat. [You still don't get it? It was a pink submarine, man! Get down with Cinema!]) We could even have a gay battalion, and following all of the racist and ignorant policies the Army has enacted over the years, they could be the modern military's 100th Battalion, 442nd infantry, only with better complexions and snazzier uniforms. (Those were the Japanese-Americans, who despite fighting their brethren, and despite some of them having their families in internment camps back home, still went over seas in WWII, kicked ass, and took names. Like bosses.)

The argument over gay marriage in the U.S. may continue for the next hundred years, it will probably continue so long as their are dominant religions in our nation. But we've had legislation against biases in the work place for decades, the Military is just another workplace. Albeit a one with more honor, more danger, and a willingness to die for one's country that few other jobs require. If a homosexual person wants to serve their country, what right do we (especially the majority of us, you know, the ones who have never served) have to tell them they can't. Whether we like it or not, or more importantly, whether they like it or not, this is their country too.